Let it go.
Last Christmas started off great. Mom and Albert had been married just over a year and his oldest daughter and I seemed to be getting along pretty well. It had been a long while since any of us had had a real Christmas with family and special warm feeling that comes with knowing that you belong. We all tried to recreate that feeling last Christmas and it worked. Everyone was having a wonderful time.
Then the phone rang. It was my sister-in-law calling to inform Mom on Christmas Day that my brother, Matthew, had left a few weeks before and would be spending the next year in Iraq. This came as a shock since Matthew was in the Army but has been out since 2000. He was going as a contractor. This news came within less than a month of a contractor over there being beheaded was all over the news. Gordana, my sister-in-law, called to tell Mom on Christmas Day because she knew she wouldn't be alone then. Merry Christmas ladies, your son and brother has just done something incredibly stupid and possibly life threatening, enjoy your eggnog!
This Christmas Matthew is still not home. He maybe coming back in January, but nothing is for sure yet. I haven't seen my niece, Mary, since she was six months old. She turned three on Dec. 1st. It's been even longer since Mom's seen her. I also haven't seen Dad since he moved to Alabama to be close to Matthew, Gordana, and Mary.
Mom and I have been planning to go see them this Christmas. We talked to Gordana and Dad. Everything's all set. We even went out the other night and bought Mary one of those V-Smile things with games for her age that help kids learn colors and numbers.
One problem. Yesterday, Mom got an email from Gordana saying that she talked to Matthew and he is totally against Mom coming there when he is not there.
We aren't going. Basically, I don't get to see my niece or my Dad for Christmas because my jack-ass brother of 29 can't grow up and stop acting like a 12 year little boy who's mad at mommy for divorcing daddy. Mom called Gordana and the only other thing that Gordana could think of why he might be acting this way is that he told her that Mom beat us when we were kids. Again, not 12 anymore, GET OVER IT!!!
Yes, Mom did hit us when we were kids, A LOT. But ya know what? We've both been grown up for awhile now. We both know for a fact that Mom was severely depressed during the years that kind of stuff happened and didn't know how to handle it. I, for one, realized a long time ago that Mom did the best she could. No, my childhood was not perfect. Yes, there were a lot of times that I got whipped worse than I probably deserved IF I deserved it at all. But guess what? I turned out pretty good. I have more good memories than bad, and I love my mother.
Matthew can't see past his own nose to see that holding on to the bad memories and burying the good ones is in the long run going to hurt him and his children more that Mom. In trying to punish her, he is depriving his children of their Grandmother. Their other Grandparents live half way around the world. As important as our Grandmother and our Gram and Pappy have been in our lives I would think that he would want his children to have that, as I hope mine will someday.
I just can't understand why he has to hold this grudge. Let it go.
Then the phone rang. It was my sister-in-law calling to inform Mom on Christmas Day that my brother, Matthew, had left a few weeks before and would be spending the next year in Iraq. This came as a shock since Matthew was in the Army but has been out since 2000. He was going as a contractor. This news came within less than a month of a contractor over there being beheaded was all over the news. Gordana, my sister-in-law, called to tell Mom on Christmas Day because she knew she wouldn't be alone then. Merry Christmas ladies, your son and brother has just done something incredibly stupid and possibly life threatening, enjoy your eggnog!
This Christmas Matthew is still not home. He maybe coming back in January, but nothing is for sure yet. I haven't seen my niece, Mary, since she was six months old. She turned three on Dec. 1st. It's been even longer since Mom's seen her. I also haven't seen Dad since he moved to Alabama to be close to Matthew, Gordana, and Mary.
Mom and I have been planning to go see them this Christmas. We talked to Gordana and Dad. Everything's all set. We even went out the other night and bought Mary one of those V-Smile things with games for her age that help kids learn colors and numbers.
One problem. Yesterday, Mom got an email from Gordana saying that she talked to Matthew and he is totally against Mom coming there when he is not there.
We aren't going. Basically, I don't get to see my niece or my Dad for Christmas because my jack-ass brother of 29 can't grow up and stop acting like a 12 year little boy who's mad at mommy for divorcing daddy. Mom called Gordana and the only other thing that Gordana could think of why he might be acting this way is that he told her that Mom beat us when we were kids. Again, not 12 anymore, GET OVER IT!!!
Yes, Mom did hit us when we were kids, A LOT. But ya know what? We've both been grown up for awhile now. We both know for a fact that Mom was severely depressed during the years that kind of stuff happened and didn't know how to handle it. I, for one, realized a long time ago that Mom did the best she could. No, my childhood was not perfect. Yes, there were a lot of times that I got whipped worse than I probably deserved IF I deserved it at all. But guess what? I turned out pretty good. I have more good memories than bad, and I love my mother.
Matthew can't see past his own nose to see that holding on to the bad memories and burying the good ones is in the long run going to hurt him and his children more that Mom. In trying to punish her, he is depriving his children of their Grandmother. Their other Grandparents live half way around the world. As important as our Grandmother and our Gram and Pappy have been in our lives I would think that he would want his children to have that, as I hope mine will someday.
I just can't understand why he has to hold this grudge. Let it go.
posted by Amanda | 6:26 PM
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1 Comments
